


The Moment (When My Heart Stood Still)

by ThatwasJustaDream



Series: Thank you fics - 2014 Brag Book on the LJ 1_million_words comm [6]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Canon Elements, Community: 1-million-words, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 09:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been years, but the memories are still chasing Steve in his dreams. Some he hopes to shed. One he knows he'll keep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Moment (When My Heart Stood Still)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [simplyn2deep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyn2deep/gifts).



> For Simplyn2deep, as part of the 1_million_words Brag Book rewards. She wanted me to take my favorite moment on the show and make it McDanno or even more McDanno. After all this time, Danny lifting the tarp and Steve's face when he does is still 'it' for me.

They’d fallen asleep with the window wide open. 

That was a good thing. Because when Steve jumped half out of bed, barely conscious, drawing in a panicked lung full of air he smelled them right away; the salt from the surf below his yard, the freshly cut grass on the lawn he’d tended to all Sunday afternoon.

“Where were you?” Danny’s voice, slow and scratchy with sleep, eyes heavy as he twisted himself around to face him. 

Translation: ‘which of the nightmares is haunting your sleep, babe?’

“Up. Please?” Steve slid down next to him, squeezed Danny’s side, urging him north.

Some nights he answered the question. This time he went with silence, his face finding the nook by Danny’s chest and shoulder as they settled back in. He felt an arm going over him, pulling him in tight, too – Danny holding him, a hand rubbing his back repeatedly, gentle and rhythmic. 

Thankfully, Danny seemed to get that no response meant ‘I can’t.’

Home. Thank God. He was home. Not hanging from a ceiling by a hook like a slaughtered animal. 

Even though he was more awake now, they weren’t retreating: The memories of how much it had hurt - pain from his head to his feet, pain everywhere like pain was the only thing left in the world. 

Like he might not ever feel anything else again. 

“Shhhh…..” Apparently Danny could feel how hard and fast his heart was still beating; the hand that was caressing him stopped briefly to press against his back. “Breathe….”

He did – drawing in air slowly, letting it out even slower. It helped; smelling Danny’s skin, feeling Danny’s chest rising and falling against his cheek. It made the images start to thin out and recede. 

But it couldn’t wipe them away. 

Him holding his breath in the back of that ancient transport truck, tasting his own blood in his mouth, smelling the stink of fear and two days of sweat on his body. He hadn’t only felt…alone. He’d barely felt human. Like he had no name or ties – like nothing he’d done had ever really mattered.

When the tarp lifted, the only thing he knew is that he didn’t want them to see how scared he was. How his stomach was turning at the thought of more wounds to his body or a bullet to the head. How afraid he was of dying in a ditch, wondering if his Ohana would ever find him and ...know what happened.

So he jutted his chin at them, a ‘fuck you’ look in his eyes. And saw Danny standing there. 

It had taken a good three seconds to register – that it wasn’t a mirage. That it was really Danny jumping in the truck, shouting back to the others, ‘It’s Steve, I’ve got Steve, he’s alive…”

He lifted his head now, kissing the bit of Danny that was closest, along his collarbone. He wanted to kiss his lips, but didn’t want to move too much and wake him again.

He wanted to tell him what that moment still meant to him; how surreal it had been, going from the worst second of his life to one of the best. The moment he knew he was irreplaceable to someone. 

And that he loved Danny, too.

He had to tell him; It was past time -- over two years since Wo Fat had died and nearly that long they'd been together.

In the morning. He would.

He'd tell him.

~*~

“’Morning, Sunshine.” 

Danny said it from the sink, three quarters done shaving. His body was still pink and damp from the shower, a towel wrapped low along his hips when Steve wandered into the bathroom.

“’Morning,” he stepped in behind him, head foggy from lack of deep sleep, hands finding the sides of the sink bowl as he dipped down to kiss Danny’s neck, his shoulders, leaning around to kiss his mouth – quick and light to avoid the shaving cream. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Waking you up at two a.m.” 

Steve stood but didn’t step away, body pressing against Danny’s, watching him carefully scrape under his nose.

“No worries. I went right back out.”

Which was a lie. He’d heard Danny tossing, too, for quite a while. Why was it Danny gave him crap about absolutely everything that he said or did but never, ever about the bad dreams?

“Hey, D?”

“Yeah?” Danny rinsed the razor and then splashed his face.

Steve watched him while he did. And felt the window close. The moment available in which to say it, before he lost his nerve.

“Sorry…forgot. Wanted to tell you something, but…I forget what.”

“That’s ‘cause you changed rooms,” Danny grabbed a hand towel from the rack, drying off. “They say if you walk back where you were… you’ll remember what it was.”

“That’s what they say?”

“It is,” Danny dropped the towel in the sink, leaning back into him. “Whoever the hell ‘they’ are.”

Danny reached back for a half-sideways, tip-tilted tongue duel and Steve was happy to give him that. To have his mouth occupied, to feel Danny against him.

“Mmmmm,” Danny was practically purring when he pulled away. “Not even eight in the morning, and two kisses already. If I make us coffee…can I get a third before work?”

“Hell, yeah you can.”

Steve turned on the shower taps and watched Danny go. Then he got his head under water.

He would tell him. 

About the moment his heart stood still - and it hadn’t killed him, but saved him.

He'd tell him someday.


End file.
